Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Confessions of a Breastfeeding Mom

I have a confession to make. I don't really love breastfeeding. I really don't love breastfeeding. I kind of hate breastfeeding.

Well, you're probably asking, why do you do it then?

The truth is, I don't hate it all the time.  There are definitely moments, everyday, that I hate it. When I'm sitting there, at 3 a.m., looking over at my snoozing husband, I hate it. When a steady regimen of Lansinoh isn't even starting to heal "the girls," I hate it. When I have to sleep in a bra so I don't soak my sheets, I hate it.

But, most of the time, I don't hate it. I love that my baby relies on me for his sole source of nutrients. I love sitting, one-on-one with my little guy several times each day. I love not having to make bottles or smell formula. I really love that I don't have to spend any money to feed my baby.

Breastfeeding and I have had our troubles in the past. Abby would spit up blood...blood that was coming from me. It was terrible. And, if you've been reading this blog for a while, you know about the problems I had with Clara. It seems as though history may be repeating itself...

We took Grant in for his first check-up when he was four days old. He had gained a few ounces since leaving the hospital and was on track to reach his birth weight in good time. This week, we took him in for his next check-up and he hadn't gained any weight since his last appointment. When I looked at the scale, my heart sank and I had to fight back the tears. We thought he was doing so well. He's such a sweet, happy baby. I wasn't prepared to deal with this again.

I don't always love breastfeeding but I know it's the best thing for my little guy and I hate that I'm not doing it good enough. The doctor recommended lots of water and rest (which I'm not very good at), pumping and making sure he doesn't go too long between feedings. He is an exceptional sleeper, day and night and I have to wake him up a lot, which I hate.

We take him in again on Monday for a weight check. Wish us luck!


  1. try the earth mama Angel baby natural nipple butter. it works way better! and you don't have to wipe off or anything. also works on chapped cheeks and little baby scratches. good luck! and congrats :) your family is beautiful!

  2. Ugh, Philip told me about this yesterday. So frustrating!

    One of my friends was having trouble producing enough milk for her baby and she drank this mothers milk tea (, took fenugreek supplements (, and drank A&W rootbeer (something about the brewing yeast that they use helps to increase your milk supply). Her baby was way under weight and now he's fattening up really well. You might ask your doctor if they could help...if anything, it's an excuse to drink delicious soda regularly :)

    Good luck! We're praying for that sweet boy!

  3. Deborah, Hang in there. I had the same trouble with Eli, but he as just spitting everything up. Once I realized he was dairy intolerant that helped a lot. I also had a time when I wasn't producing enough. I took fenugreek pills and I fed like every two hours. It helped. And "the girls" will heal. Prayers for good weight checks!


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